dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
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I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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