it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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