hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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