I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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