Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
