We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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