Whod you bang
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
