I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
