He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
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There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize