think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize