You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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