we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
are you so shy because you have an std?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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