i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
