I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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