this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
