Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
