never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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