I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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