I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
