This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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