I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
