It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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