He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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