didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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