Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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