Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it because I queefed?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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