I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
