Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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