so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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