Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm at about main and main street
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
