i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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