Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
