don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
