people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
