I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
