my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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