2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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