I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
