i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize