You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
