he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can't turn off my feet"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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