Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize