Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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