i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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