she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
