Michael Bay diarrhea
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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