we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
