i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My liver is preforming stress tests.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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