She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
