hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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