I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
this hospital has no fireball
When are your genitals available?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
