Can Purell be used as lube?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
