Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize