just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
