we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
