I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
