You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
