you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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