your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
