This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
